05年G类写作笔记：例文精讲

*  1、练习时要学会分析题目中问题出现的原因，这是在考前需要完成的工作。

   2、首段，末段和中间主体段落的首句绝对不能出现语法错误。

Topic：Most cities have traffic and housing problems. Some people suggest that big companies and factories（核心词） move to countryside. What’s your opinion?

§ 1首段思路：1、问题存在，严重，急需解决（陈述形式，最好加入比喻）

             2、什么是最好的解决方式？（设问形式）

             3、一种观点认为…。

             4、转折：但是，我（和…）认为…(反方观点)。

Paragraph 1

①首句用比喻，8分　　　　②what的双重语法性质，9分

Like a disease that troubles the patients, traffic and housing problems in almost every metropolis (big cities, such as…) are what governments must address without any delay. But, how? One theory claims big companies and factories should be moved to the hinterland/countryside. Although it sounds plausible, the theory is not essentially/actually/in fact flawless. [或者：the theory is misleading (undermined by the following facts and figures⑤压头韵)

③长短句错落有致，有节奏韵律变化                ④双否=强烈肯定

另一种比喻方式：

Tuning into BBC or CNN, you are flooded by various problems. But, what are the most serious? Undoubtedly, they are traffic and housing problems (省略which) each city is confronted with. One theory claims big companies and factories should be moved to the hinterland/countryside. Although it sounds plausible, the theory is not essentially/actually/in fact flawless.

§ 2 主题段落部分

*  1、段首句一定要有明显的过渡词，这是6分的基本点。

   2、注意要重复题目中核心词。

Paragraph 2

①明显过渡词                ②长短句结构

To begin with, it is entirely wrong to attribute city housing and traffic problems to big companies and factories. Why? The area that big factories and companies occupy usually accounts（注意主谓一致） for less than (因为area不可数，所以用less，而不是用smaller)15% of the whole city. Hence, big companies and factories contribute little to housing and traffic problems. Moreover, the number of the employees of big companies and factories is (与主语the number保持主谓一致) not large enough to cause traffic and housing problems.

Paragraph 3

Next, to move big companies and factories does not solve the housing and traffic problems. In fact, it harms rather than helps（压头韵） city economic development by shifting the problems from city to countryside. Once the big companies and factories are moved to countryside, schools, banks, hospitals, raw material supplies, and the like will also stream into the countryside. When the system becomes a flood, a new city comes into being. Then, the old problems reappear in the “new cities”. In addition, it is these big companies and factories that trigger and lead the city economic development. To remove them, products and services are expensive. Hence, to move them countryside makes little sense.

* 并列关系的句子可减少1-2句，任意去掉哪一句，文章仍然精彩。

§ 3  结尾段：1-2句，必须有结尾标志词，一定要与首段呼应。

Paragraph 4

①有明显结尾标志词 & ②与首段观点呼应

To sum up, I do not agree that big companies and factories should be moved to countryside. To solve the problem more effectively and efficiently（压头韵），扩展时可以加入这样的词组, governments and scholars should consider more insightfully.

* 第二句完全可以没有，只用一句来重申观点，与首段呼应即可。但是在字数不够，或有余附时间的情况下，可以加上第二句。（To solve….insightfully一句亦可用与口语中环境话题。）

*《新东方雅思写作》P141 ，P144和P151三篇文章，是7分范文。