雅思作文修改：new language should be invented

题目：Some people think that a new language should be invented for people from different countries to use for the international communication. To what extent do you think its advantages far outweigh its disadvantages?

其实这篇并不怪啊，就相当于我发的讲义的重点题目第一题，一种全球化的语言。

In the contemporary world, globalization is making a large incidence around the world. The issue of invented a fresh language is an emotional one, with some people talking the attitude that is necessary to contrive a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication.

The reason for this trend may involve the recognition that different language may cause dispensable trouble, even lead to a war and also restricted people who can only use their mother tongue to communicate with external people. By contrast, those who can use foreign language to get a high-paid career and immigrate to other countries have a high quality life. They tend to be more enlighten may to they broader view. Admittedly, having ability to communicate with people who has different culture background is increasingly remarkable. So, invented a new language may bring numerous benefits to not only a person, but countries from all over the world.

第一个立论段落的问题：主题句涵盖太多内容，太宽泛，变成几乎没有主题句

However, a great language frequently link to a variety of culture. Furthermore, originate a new language is a long-term evolution like Chinese. Classical Chinese is the beginning of Chinese which is throughout 5000 years of history and gradually evolve to modern language called Modern Vernacular Chinese. During that time, Chinese shaped a colorful culture which is magnificent at present. But, current science and technology is become increasing advancing. Scientist may totally create a new language which is combine diversity of culture.

这段的论述有点离题了

Overall, despite of creating a language may during a long-term period. But, modern technology can reduce that period and eventually contrive a new language. Speaking myself, its benefits are significant contributing factors to the development of world.

给你一点论据：

支持：

1. 个人生活，学习，工作带来方便

2. 促进世界的经济发展，国与国的沟通，社会进步

不支持：

1. 造成很多小语种和少数民族文化的消失

2. 造成世界的uniformity,使人们的生活变的dull或monotonous